just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
