the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
