Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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