Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
