first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
