WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
