He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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