hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize