I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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