I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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