My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
