Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
