Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
