i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
