Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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