you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
