They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
