Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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