how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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