Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
party gras won. party gras always wins.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
