dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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