It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
