It's like a parade of train wrecks.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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