How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
