Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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