i think i have herpe
just one?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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