And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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