i think i have herpe
just one?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
