You're so nebulous sometimes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You're like the curious george of whores
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
