Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize