doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
