How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
