i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
