Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
