How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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