she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
