Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
