I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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