last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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