9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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