Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
