There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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