she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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