I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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