you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
