I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
