Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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