I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize