Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
