just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
