ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
