i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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