Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
