Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
