found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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