yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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