just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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