Tell her she can't have a vagina
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
where does the pee come out of this thing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
