Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
