Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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