new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
