does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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