Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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