We're like a lot better than the average bears
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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