How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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