making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I touched a dick in church today
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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