I want to make a zoo with you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
