I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
