Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
