found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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