Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
